"June"

In the middle of June, I conceived a project which had a high potential to fail. Usually I write poems and friends read them. So, I tried to turn the tables. I tried to involve as many friends as I could to write a "Group Poem". Some of them responded. Only a few of them could muster up some lines.

I set a few rules at the start. Two (or more) lines from each person. ABAB rhyming scheme. The rhyming words. Also, the time to respond  (24 hours). By the time we reached the end of "June" (!), each one of these rules were destroyed one by one.

I wasn't allowed to moderate the poem, so anything was allowed (except obscenity) as far as the content was concerned. So, it turned out to be anything but what I imagined it would turn out to be. But it was an interesting group experiment overall.

Thanks Namrata, Akshita, Katyayan, Anshul and Srijan for the contribution...


The wheatish white girl's name was June. 
And she had one dirty little secret to keep. 
The copper haired girl's antics were jejune
And some very ordinary things made her flip.
Those sparkling eyes, made me think, God is too Prune, 
Greenish-Blue hue, those were sea-like deep.
Litting up the room, like a sunlight dune, 
She smiles her way, up the stairs so steep.
Why is she here?, I ask myself,
breaking my thought there is a Warning Beep.

It was last year on June 22 when i had proposed her at half past five. 
Long day it was , longest as they say , as i stood there forever.        
She  smiled as usual, ruffled my hair and said "oh! Baby I love Clive.
Then and there I vowed to myself, ''never fall for her ever''.

My charming frog never got the kiss,
Yelped in the night without a pretty miss,
The rejection took away all my bliss,
I fasted to an emotional abyss.

Years then passed and i forgot her face,
Mostly because I showered her with mace,
Flew her with a tiger into outer space,
Denied her existence in the human race.

Till one fine day as I walked with a teddy bear,
I saw her frying onions on a stand with silly hair,
Screaming to the crowd at the city's market square,
Desperately in need of some fine dental care.

I went to her, 
and found she had nothing to cheer,
Shouted on me as if i have stolen something from her
June i knew was not in there...

But as I approached her, she shot me with a gun, 
She was a spy of another country, an intelligence agent. 
Her antics, her secrets were out in the open now, 
But there was nothing that I could do as blood poured out of my mouth. 
I loved the copper haired girl with greenish blue eyes, 
I had vowed not to fall for her, but she made sure I fall forever tonight.

February : The Toughest Month Yet. Review

I thought February was my toughest month yet, but March is turning out to be tougher than anything. I am dealing with some personal issues and hence have lost the will to write. I have ideas, but I don't feel like writing. But then, the only way to keep writing is to somehow keep writing. So, let's try. 

February did turn out to be one of the toughest months of my life. But not the way I thought it would be. The self defeating chain of thoughts started somewhere in the middle of February and I haven't been able to come out of it yet. But, not going into those things, here's a review of how February went.

• No Newspapers : This was really difficult. I have done this before and it's never easy to leave newspapers, especially at breakfast. Family didn't help either. They would put the newspaper right at the sofa table. Damn you family. At times, I would end up "mistakenly" looking at a few headlines here and there. But 99% I managed without it. Result : I didn't know mostly what was happening in the world and India, especially politics and I could care less. 90+% of news is just depressing. I felt good trading bad news it at the expense of sounding ignorant.  

• No TV : This was difficult too. Again because I need something to watch during dinner, at the end of a hard day of work. And to make matters worse since I had no control, family would watch their stupid Saas-Bahu serials at that time. Damn you family. 

• No Blogs : This turned out to be easy actually. No logging into Feedly. No checking blogs. Although I did make 2-3 exceptions for friends. I would always do that.

• No Twitter : Easy Peasy.

• No Instagram : Easier Than above.

• No Pocket : Easy again. Although now I am struggling to come up to speed with so many articles to be read.

• No Movies : I haven't watched a movie this year yet.

• No TV series episodes : I did miss some of the series, but then it wasn't that difficult either.

• No YouTube/Vimeo/Vine : I watched a few YouTube videos. Less than half a dozen I believe. They were inspiring and I learned a little too, so I won't apologize.

• No Music : By far the hardest item in this list. Haven't attempted going without music before. This month made me realize how much I enjoy music. And it's not like I went without music completely. People nearby would listen to music and I won't stop them doing that. Sometimes I liked what they listened and sometimes I hated. But I wasn't allowed to do anything about it. The promise was to not let myself listen to music voluntarily. At least on 4 points I almost, almost picked up my ear phone. But I am fiercely proud I resisted listening to music for the whole month. Yeah! Although.... I did listen to a song composed by a friend. 5 times. Again no apologies for friends.

• No Podcast (except if I create one of my own): Don't listen to too many podcasts so wasn't a problem. I did listen to half of an audiobook though. Technically not a podcast but a book. Alas, no podcast of own created this month as well. 

• No Video Games : I am not a big fan of video games, so no problems here either.

Whatsapp is what I gave up trying to control, on day one itself. In fact I think February is when I used Whatsapp more than usual. For reasons totally unintended though, I am going without Whatsapp for the whole month this March. A part of me wants to go back, but the other part hates it right now. For almost 2 weeks of this Month I also went without phone (which was fun actually!). 

So, what was the use? What did I achieve doing all this?

• Well I did keep promises, but it's disappointing no one really took that "broken promises" post seriously.
• I slept more.
• I did read more than January but again not as much as I would like. May be I setting my expectations too high on reading resolution.
• Didn't write much. But wrote some pretty good articles I thought.

The experiment was overall a success I would say. I did prove to myself (and it was only about myself) that I can live without most of the things that people like me think they "can't live without". Willpower? You have more than you think you have.

Would I attempt this again? May be. No plans right now. 

February: The Toughest Month Yet

What will happen when all your sources of distraction/procrastination are taken away from you?
Will you suddenly get more productive?
Or will you just get fed up and give up?
Or will you find alternate sources of distractions.
Or find chinks in the rules to still avoid having to do the hard work?

In February, I set out to find the answers to these questions.

Here's what I am doing in February:

• No Newspapers
• No TV (which is mostly more news)
• No Blogs (reading)
• No Twitter
• No Instagram
• No Pocket
• No Movies
• No TV series episodes
• No YouTube/Vimeo/Vine (unless it's for learning something)
• No Music
• No Podcast (except if I create one of my own)
• No Video Games

Here's what will remain:

• Whatsapp/Hangout (but only between 10 pm - 12 pm. I am not sure if I can pull this one. I like complete ban than having to control myself).
• Google Plus (but ONLY to post weekly updates on resolutions and this experiment, and replying to anyone who cares to comment.).
• Gmail (to check emails as fast as possible and only during 10 pm - 12 pm window).

Here's what I have already done, before posting this.

• Removed Twitter/Instagram/Pocket/Feedly from mobile and tablet. YouTube being a native app unfortunately won't go. I don't play games usually. But I will remove them as well, if I catch myself playing one. 
• Blocked these sites on Shraddha.
• Instructed (read pleaded) family to keep the newspaper away from eyes (newspaper addiction is bad. I have an intuition I will flip on this one.)
• Created half a dozen filters to automatically take care of more than half of the emails.

So, what will I do (or at least theoretically try to do) instead?

• Keep Promises
• Work on my Resolutions (Reading/Talking/Training)
• Sleep
• Write
• Learn or try something new.

This is just an experiment (but, probably the toughest self-experiment till now). I am not going to punish myself for breaking the rules set above. I am not going to jump out of a vehicle if someone starts playing  music in it. I am not going to sleep on the terrace if family is watching TV on both the floors. I am not going to cry if someone ties me to a chair and make me read the newspapers. I am not going to take a bath in Yamuna Ji if my eyes fall on a blog post (although I might close my eyes).

This is not going to be a perfect experiment. I know that. I can still waste time doing absolutely nothing at all, which will make this experiment an utter waste of efforts. But in any case, I will continue this experiment till the last day of the month (which thankfully has just 28 days). And I am going to be brutally honest if I break any of the above rules (do follow this page. Please).

It's actually a little funny that I need to call this the toughest month ever. There are so many people, either so poor or so busy or so passionate that they don't have time and resource to access any of the above sources to kill time. Just 8-9 years ago, I had none of the above except few hours of TV and an FM radio. 

I am not a hero, or a monk. As I said, this has all the recipes to be a disaster and an embarrassment of an experiment. But I am on the verge of implosion if I don't do anything to achieve what I have set out to achieve. Time is slipping. I am just desperate to make 2014 matter.

About Broken Promises

You always want to be remembered as a good person, don't you? Someone who mattered in the lives of other persons. Someone whom people can trust. I am no different. I am constantly on the edge, scared to lose family and friends. How would all the money, fame and happiness matter if you have no one to share with? 

A good friend leaves this week after 2.5 years of being together, and I am sad and pained, as always. The thought of not meeting a close friend anymore gets too overwhelming sometimes. So, whenever they leave, I try not to think about it until they are gone for good. 

But severing true friendship, while easier, is far more painful than cutting off from friends. If friends go away, you always have hope that you can get them back. But if friendship is lost, it's probably lost forever. And one of the easiest ways to lose friendship is to lose the trust of friends. And one of the easiest ways to lose trust is to break promises. And this is what I have been doing. And recently more often than not. And I certainly don't feel good about it. 

There have been innumerable instances where I have promised something and not delivered it. Or more appropriately, not delivered it on time. Often I just get into something interesting and then just can’t resist the temptation to continue with it, and don't care about the consequences of not keeping my own words:

• So many times I have cancelled my meetings because I was watching an interesting movie or reading an interesting blog or story.
• So many times I have been late for my appointments just because I wanted to listen to one more track from an album before I start getting ready.
• So many times I have let my friends wait because I was probably coding something or writing a piece and didn’t want to leave it in between (or was too lazy to bath and get ready).
• So many times I have promised to call someone but never did, just because I was ‘busy’. Sometimes I am actually busy or in a situation where taking up or making calls might not be possible or convenient. But often I deliberately put myself into such situations just so that I don’t have to indulge in ‘small talk’ which I am really path3tic in.
• Some many times I have resolved (self-promised) to do something and then got lazy and lost motivation and came back to step 1 (or step 0). I am running so far behind in my new year resolutions, I have already started to doubt if 2014 could really be my greatest year yet. It's just soul crushing.

...As I said, the instances are numerous and enumerating more is only going to make me more depressed. 

Of course, my bad habits haven’t proved fatal to anybody (yet) but often they have jeopardized the others' plans. The same people whom I claim to be fond of so much, have been inconvenienced because of something that I could have avoided. All that was needed from me was a little bit of professionalism and seriousness and courage from my side. That's just shameful.

Sometimes the things do get out of control and I can’t help the situation. But those scenarios are a rarity. More often I promise stuff just to keep up with my ‘nice guy’ image, fully knowing that I won’t be able to deliver it. But I let the future RavS take care of the mess, at least the present RavS is getting the accolades, right?

People forgive and forget but I remember and then I lose respect in my own eyes. Something has to change, and it has to change fast and permanently. Keeping promises is, like most things, a habit. A habit that can be developed. All that is needed is some set rules and a willingness to follow them. 

I want to try and keep all the promises that I make during February (we will see for the coming months after that), and I need your help:

• If you want me to do something, make me promise you that. Make me actually say "I promise", in any comprehensible language. Record it. Make me sign it on a piece of paper. Make me take an oath if you feel so (I will be carrying a pdf of Bhagwat Geeta in my tablet, if it's needed). And get a set point of time when that promise will be completed. 

• And if after doing all that, I still fail to deliver, then punish me. Make the failed promise public. Ridicule me. You get to make me do any embarrassing thing that you want (I will come and clean your toilet if you please). And make that public too.

I will also try to be more conscious about my promises and their consequences, but I just can't do it without accountability. Hence your help.

I know this will mean saying "NO" a lot more often. I hate to say this word, and probably you will also hate to hear it. But, it's still better than not being impeccable with my words. When I wrote Resetting Priorities I kept "Family" over "Promises", and that still holds true. I will just hope Family won't come in between the promises.

I want to be the guy who if promises you something, you KNOW in your heart I will do anything to keep it. I want to be that person, whom you can trust MORE than yourself, more than ANYONE in the world. Someone whose promise can let you sleep peacefully, without an iota of doubt. 

Will you help me become that person?

Experiment: Now Giving 50 Rs. Daily

I recently reached 100 posts on this blog. Although I am pretty happy with what I have achieved, I'm a tad disappointed as well. It's been 978 days since my first post here and it took me 132 days since the 100th one. While a lot of excuses for not writing enough can be given, there is no denying the fact that these stats could have been much better.

I read somewhere that a writer will do anything to excuse himself from writing and I suffer from the same difficulty. Writing is all about inertia. When you are writing good, you feel good, which gives a positive feedback to write more good stuffs. Similarly you are not writing, a lot of (unfounded) negative emotions come in, which makes it even more difficult to write.

I want to take my writing more seriously now. In fact, I want to reach the next 100 mark in 1/3rd of the time it took this time. And that obviously will require tremendous amount of self discipline and dedication.

Starting January 1, I want to make it a habit of writing uninterrupted for half an hour daily, doesn't matter what. And this is where I want an Accountability Partner (AP).

Here is what I want to try:

1. I try to write for (at least) half an hour daily preferably between 10 to 10.30 am.
2. The Accountability Partner checks DAILY if I am maintaining the habit.
3. The AP will make sure to remind me daily block half an hour in the 'busy' schedule to write.
4. In case, I am not able to write for 30 mins (not a minute less), I give 50 Rs. to AP for that day, to be given to them at the end of the month as lump sum.
5. Though, I am not required to show it to the AP what I wrote.

Of course, there is a scope of cheating here. But then there has to be a degree of trust for this experiment to pass. And while 50 Rs. in a day may not be that big an amount, totalling it for 30 days will make it 1500 which does become a significant amount for me.

If anybody is interested to become a Writing Accountability Partner for me for this January, please let me know. I am pretty serious about it, and would like someone who can honestly help me out.

A Wannabe Minimalist

"Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication"

~Leonardo Da Vinci

When you don't take care, clutter builds up so easily in your life. More the clutter, more distraction, more stress, more waste of energy taking care of everything.

For past several months, I have been trying to simplify my life while trying to be a minimalist. Some of the steps taken, so far:

• Got rid of unnecessary and dysfunctional electronic items, DVDs and other e-waste. And this was probably the most difficult step, because these stuffs I had bought from my own hard earned money.
• Opened old trunks and wardrobe, took out all the old and outdated clothes and shoes of everyone in family and donated them.
• Loads of books were found lying around unused. I don't like to throw away old books, so we tried to find good keepers, but some had to go to the rag-picker. Old Magazines and Newspapers are my favorite to get rid of.
• Deleted a bunch of movies from system which have been sitting there for months in the hope they would be watched *someday*. The thing is when you are really excited about some movie or TV episode you watch it as soon as possible rather than waiting for *someday*. And when I have less choices, it's easier for me to pick and watch the next movie. 
• Removed redundant software from the system. I no longer have to waste time choosing the right tool for the job as there is only one tool available. System also now feels a little faster!
• Removed a dozen old and 'just-in-case' contacts from the phone contact list. I just know that I am not interested in contacting them anymore, nor will they do anytime soon.
• Half a dozen FB friends were deleted, a bunch of twitter accounts were unfollowed. Just keeping those who are really important.
• Removed a bunch of old and out-of-date bills and warranty cards. Now I am only left with a handful and I am pretty sure I am not going to need them either.
• Removed most of the songs from my MP3 player. In any case, I listen to a limited number of them. Nowadays, I prefer listening to radio.
• Cut short a bunch of blogs I followed. Now it contains only the essentials. Unfortunately I struggle to find time even for them.
• Texting friend is a major activity I perform. Recently I identified about a dozen people out of almost 50, to text regularly. While others still receive texts but it has become 'occassionaly'. This has significantly reduced the stress of keeping contact with everyone and texting feels less of a chore now.
• Threw away a great number of old documents related to self and family that were lying around just-in-case they are needed. That 'just-in-case' occasion never occurred in last one decade.
• Have stopped wearing watch after 7 years of daily use. I now carry a mobile phone and it makes no sense to carry an extra weight on your wrist (I don't consider watches as fashion accessories).
• Trashed a great number of 'unfinished' pieces and ideas for the blog because I felt they were not going anywhere and I didn't want to write just for the sake of writing.
• Have started giving more attention to my writing and eliminating the non-essential (while getting full co-operation from my private editor!). The articles must be crisp and precise to read.
• You might not have noticed but this blog has become a lot more clean than it started. All non-essential stuffs (twitter feed, tag cloud, email subscription, blogger follow gadget, the extra subheading of the blog) have been removed. All you see now is the content and the archives. And that's what matters. And now with the (temporary) Dynamic views set for blog interface has become even more simplified.
• Resigned from the post of moderator/translator from Twitter. It was a very hard and painful decision but I had to do it because other obligations were not allowing me to do justice to the post.

And I must say that this is not the end of it. It has to be just a starting. Simplifying life is an ongoing process, it never ends.I must also tell "subtracting things from life" is not an idea that just popped in my head. I read about it at a few places and have seen people practising *minimalism* and that inspires me to be a minimalist and "simplifist" myself. Of course, an extreme minimalist will pare down stuffs from his life to the bare minimum. I don't want to become that weird guy. I am trying to practice minimalism to the level with which I am comfortable with.

 I have also had a few interesting experiences while conducting these life-experiments and activities:

• Have been facing a lot of opposition and resistance from family while throwing away stuffs. They think it would be "useful sometime in future". And I can totally understand their sentiments as I also used to feel the same sometime ago.
• When you eliminate stuffs from your life, you start using and interacting with other things and people more often hence appreciating them more.
• Separating from a particular thing which you have used in past also involves detaching yourself emotionally from it. Sometimes it is painful, but at other times it is a liberating experience.

Being a minimalist is coo! Give it a try!

The 1 Week Experiment

First thing first, I apologize to all those who were inconvenienced by my 'bizarre' experiment of not accessing FB, Msgs and Lync for a full week. This life experiment was called everything from 'stupid' to 'manic', which is understandable. But the fact is, this is not the first time I have done something like this. Those who know me for a long time would know about some of my past similar life-experiments. In fact, I am a self-proclaimed life hacker and a life hacker keeps on hacking his life, trying new stuffs to see what works for him and what doesn't.

This post is about explaining why I conducted this experiment and what I achieved as a result of it. Let's talk about them one by one:

1. Facebook: 

Less than an year ago, I simply hated Facebook because :

a. I was (am) a Twitter fan and majority of my friends were on FB instead. 

b. Facebook gave me a feeling which we call as 'Big company syndrome'.

But somewhere during July/August I decided to finally make an FB account, not for myself (of course!), but for friends' sake. Now, I will not hesitate to say that I had a great experience being part of FB. In fact, I have been blamed for putting too much information too frequently there, which I believe IS correct.

You want to stay connected with friends all the time. And hence, I have been guilty of checking FB too many times during the day, even when I am on the move. When you get addicted to anything, it leaves a hollow feeling inside whenever you use it. I have had similar problems with Twitter last year, and I was experiencing the same with FB recently. It just didn't seem as much enjoyable. And none of the strategies, whether to not use FB at night times, or use it on alternate days; were working. But what always works for me is a blanket ban!

Findings

The habit of checking FB frequently had been ingrained so deeply, during the first 2 days. I found myself typing facebook's address unconsciously on my mobile's browser (I assure you, I cancelled it before the FB's page loaded :)  But I still won't call it addiction, because I didn't feel the urge to check it while I was engaged in other works. And accessing Twitter instead did help me not to miss FB!

Now, while I return to FB 'cured', I must be careful not to engage myself in it more than required.

---

2. Messages:

In past few months, the self-taken responsibility of updating friends about my whereabouts on a daily basis, has converted me into a text junkie. I found myself texting first thing in the morning and last thing at night, and so many times in between. In fact, it affected me so much that I was not talking to friends on phone for weeks at a stretch. 

But conversation is always 2 ways. I don't get replies to almost 95% of my messages (and hence I am grateful to those who reply). Messaging seems like an effortless activity. But when you have to send it to more than 3 dozen people on a daily basis, it does consume a lot of mental energy. I wanted some respite, and hence no messages for a week.

Findings

Well this one was very difficult to execute, because some of the friends prefer to communicate over messages, which meant almost no communication with them for a week. And I faced a lot of situations during the week where sending a simple message would have solved a lot of discomfort. But while it sucks to inconvenience others, I am proud to say that I didn't make even a single exception for anyone whatsoever.

Not sending messages meant I had to call people during the week, and I am sure all those who received calls from me would be pleased. At least, I was very happy to hear their voice after a long time :)

Going forward, I plan to send messages when I 'really' have something to say, and preferably to those who can reply (I am NOT a messaging service!). I also relieve myself of the pressure to communicate with everyone. It's not Just MY responsibility. But, I would like to continue calling people more often, even though it discomforts me.

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3. MS Lync (Work place's internal communicator):

The purpose of this tool in office is to instantly connect with people for 'official' tasks. But we end up using it to chat at work. And people who have ever tried to work peacefully would tell you how much difficult it is to work without distraction with IM open all the time.

When you have a lot of friends and contacts, you are bound to be contacted every few minutes (ain't complaining just stating the fact). And setting the status 'busy' doesn't help because friends don't care how 'busy' you are! I myself have been guilty of checking whoever is online every few minutes, which is fine when you don't have work but is a big productivity-killer when you are trying hard to finish off a task. 

And people would tell you how much difficult it is to 'chat', with dozens of team mates lurking around. I have been 'caught' by seniors with many chat windows open, and while I was not reprimanded, it's not a good feeling. So, what's the solution? When you are not connected, how will you get disturbed?!

Findings

This one was relatively easier. You change the settings so that Lync doesn't autostart, and minimizes to notification area, instead of task bar and voila!! You are free from a nuisance. I should say that when I got tired at the end of the day, I did have urges to chat for 'a few minutes'. But, it doesn't take much for 'a few minutes' to become 'over an hour'. 

I will be logging into MS Lync this week onwards, but I will have to be careful not to be connected all the time. So, while I work, I will work without distraction. And while I chat, I will chat without guilt. 

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In Conclusion...

And there you go. All said and done, the experiment was fantastically done and completed. And the objectives of conducting it (to find more about myself) were accomplished. While I did miss the feeling of being connected, and my usual conversations, chatter and banter; I really liked the peace of mind that I got in return. But, I hope I don't have to repeat such an "idiotic" thing again, because it wasn't as easy as  it sounds like. Having said that, my experiments with life will continue!

The NO Internet Experiment

AIM

To perform a little experiment to see if I could go without Internet for a day

REQUIREMENTS

Internet, will power, a person with that will power

Circuit Diagram

THEORY

You remember the experiments with life that I wrote about last year? Well I thought it would be nice to try some more experimenting with life, but this time without any exam to give me excuses to do the same. Well to tell the truth I always keep trying something or other, so experimentation never stops. But this time I experimented while knowing I was experimenting!

So, what was the big experiment? No Internet for a day! Yeah that may sound ridiculous at first, I mean what can I possibly get by doing something like this? But just think about the number of hours you spend on Internet, compulsively scanning various sites for the new updates; to know what I mean (if you still don't get it, you are gifted! Celebrate!). I mean everyone has to check (and answer) mails, tweet/facebook, read blogs, search stuffs, watch videos, listen to music, share things, chat... That is kind of the day we, the new generation youth, spend nowadays (exceptions are always there).

But, I find it suffocating sometimes. You wake up, you do all the aforementioned things and then you go to sleep. But what did you actually achieve on the day? For most part it's nothing. And that fills me with guilt, I don't want to be wasting my days like this when I can have fun creating or learning stuffs. Well, communicating online, especially with those whom you can't meet regularly is necessary, but that's not the purpose of waking up everyday, is it?

Alright, let's not get more philosophical and come back to the actual experiment. OK, so I would be honest, this idea didn't come from vacuum, it was 'inspired' from one of the writeups of Leo Babauta from Zenhabits.net. But, I had to be the one performing it! Now, I have been without Internet before also, but that was when either I had no time to access it (exam time) or no means to access it (no net connection/net down). This was different, because I was willingly not doing something that has virtually become a habit.

PROCEDURE

• So, first thing I did was to inform all my friends (worth informing) that I was doing it, a day before. 
• And then I just let the day come by. 
• The day came by and the first thing I did in the morning was to open my browser and visit a website! 
• Well actually, I had to do it because I write online journal I couldn't afford to make an exception. But I just went to the site (750words.com) wrote my page and closed the browser in 15 mins. 
• I was determined to make through the day without making another exception and I actually did! 
• I surprised myself by the ease with which I did what I did.

RESULTS/CONCLUSION

1. I am addicted to Internet, but not to the extent that I can't live without it for a day (or even more).
2. I still didn't achieve as much as I could have in the absence of Internet. So, Internet is just a means, the real culprit is Me. If I want to make changes in my life, I need to take the responsibility and stop blaming Internet (and other distractions).
3. Overall the experiment was successful (if we ignore the 15 mins error). Next experiment: No system for a day!

Crap worth 500 words

Alright, so I am starting to write this blog now. Well I should tell you that you need not read this because I am going aimlessly here. All this is not going to make any sense to you. So why am I writing this rubbish post anyways? Well the reason is that I haven't posted anything for sometime now. And it is again me hitting the writer's block.

So, I am getting over with it this innovative way. And well I wanted to write a post like this sometime. This is different. Because I am not thinking what I am writing. I just am letting my fingers follow my instinct. Whatever is coming in my mind is going on this page and I am pretty sure this is going to be the fastest post I have ever written (of course most meaningless also).

And I also wanted to tell that this is how I usually write my 750words pages. I just don't think what happened or what should happen. Because if I start to thing that then writing 750 words every day will become a pain and I don't want it to be so. When I write like this, when I race against myself (by the way I am touted touch typist!), I feel good.

Well another way or writing this post, could have been just to copy paste one of the morning dump (and 'dump' here is a metaphor for the 3 pages of morning writing I do). But then I wanted to do it specifically for a blog post.

And how much more I am going to write like this? Well I am just using a writing tool that is telling me how many words I have written; so far I have reached 300 words and I will stop at 500. Just let me know if you could follow along these 500 words. 

But why stop at 500 words? Why not write more, like say 750 words as i usually (daily) do? The reason being that I have started to think that I am writing a little more than I should. You see when I start to read a blog post, I get put off by it's length. Usually I don't read blog posts more than a page long, unless they are really intriguing.

And I think the same about my blog posts. While it is easier to cough whatever comes in the mind on the page, it takes patience to read the whole thing. And if people are not reading it then what's the use of me wasting time writing long and elaborated posts.

The posts (since they are mostly text) should be interesting. If they are (in any way possible) then size of the blog post won't matter (or will matter less).

Anyways, I am done writing for today. Gonna post it tomorrow. I know it won't make much sense as a whole but were you able to read it from start to stop (if you were unemployed enough to read till here)? Let me know.

ToDo Today

People say whatever you do on first day of the year, you tend to repeat the whole year. Last time, the first thing I did when clock rang 12 was to call XP and chatted with him for some good time. Had a tiff with him for sometime of the year!

Anyway, that won't stop me from making a todo for the first day of the first year of the second decade of present millennium. 

Will try and do them in the order presented but that's not a hard and fast rule.

1. Write todo (what am I doing right now, dummy?)
2. Post a blog (just as you read this you know it's done)
3. Bath in the morning (Well, holiday and winter shouldn't be an excuse at least today)
4. Pray (So finally God gets an appointment from my busy schedule :)
5. Meditate (Sounds cheesy but I fully understand the importance of it)
6. Take blessings from family elders (no scientific advantage of this practice but invaluable morally)
7. Read Newspaper (Nowadays like supplements more than the main newspaper... No more scams please)
8. Watch a movie/TV episode (well if you know you are going to do it on a holiday why be ashamed to announce it)
9. Call/Chat with close friends (not those whom I met in person today!)
10. Way2SMS rest (well even Tata Indicom takes premium charges for SMS on special occasions, so Way2SMS rules, but only if it's working)
11. Scrap 'bache-kuche' (hey so don't blame me, I don't have their numbers. Plus its reminder to me and others that I am still alive on Orkut :)
12. Program (Lets actually do it instead of pretending to do. How about printing 'To hell with world' in five different languages?)
13. Study (Hey RavS you are still a student, remember? When was the last time I voluntarily studied? hmm..)
14. Meet YogS in person (Kitna pyaara vaada hai!)
15. Meet YogS on time (No comments)
16. Goto Sector 6 Market (Best Hangout in the whole world!!.. Well actually its because of lack of better hangouts)
17. Buy an electronic gadget (lets continue the tradition, transistor radio will do for today)
18. Check Google Reader (Old habits die hard)
19. Help bros/sis (when you have so many siblings to choose from and you are the eldest, you got some moral obligations to fulfil)
20. Sleep early (Hehe.. Are you kidding?!)

And here are 11 fillers to be done at some point or another through the day.

1. Tweet with PK (who else listens anyway?)
2. 'Like'/Comment your own tweet on Buzz (Buzz is a flop ;( )
3. Do something never done before (oh well that will be adventurous, but what??)
4. Ridicule Sui (ohh.. I miss good old times)
5. Read Katy's :(old) poem (it's been a long time since...)
6. Make fun of an XP SMS (well his SMS are an invitation to get creative, I can't help myself)
7. Argue with VK on a trivial issue (He loves a good debate, I love giving a good debate)
8. Talk to a friend not in contact for 5 years (friends are like wine, the older the better (though have never tasted wine so can't vouch for it))
9. Don't open 'Windows' (Nowadays I don't have too many Windows anyway. Just 7 in the whole home ;)
10. Listen to music (Obvious)
11. Admire a jhand art (artist jhand ho sakta hai, uska art nahin)

So, looks like I have got a packed 1st January. Hopefully I will have packed and happening year too. Here is wishing you the same!

Happy New Year MMXI

PS: The above document is not legally binding. I can't be sued by anybody including me for not abiding to above conditions. If you have any kind of problem with these terms and condition, please comment.

My Experiments with -Truth- Life (during exams)

Well 3 weeks ago I had my exam week. But hey, every student has exams. Whats so special about them? Well, exams days are special to me. Because during these days only, I don't know why, I do all kinds of experiments with my life, exams. Some of these experiments are pretty trivial like using black pen rather than usual blue ones, but some of them are so weird, I better not discuss them here. So, what all experiments did I perform during these exams? Lets see them:

Well, for all I know, the biggest time wasters for me are newspapers, Google reader, Gmail and Buzz. So, this time I decided to ditch them for the whole week (I repeat all four of them for the whole week ). Here are the results:

1. Newspaper: Well, ditching newspaper was actually the hardest thing to do of them. I have been reading newspaper since I have been reading. And I feel incomplete without going through them once in the day, no matter whether I have exams and a mile of syllabus to cover. Well, later I rue the fact that I spent I 90 mins on the newspaper, which could have proved to be golden if utilized for revision. This time also, I almost failed the experiment on the first day itself. Thankfully, I controlled myself and was able to successfully go without newspaper for the whole week. (And as luck would have it, I have been super-busy since, so haven't been reading newspaper regularly). 

Cheating: OK, I wasn't allowed to read the newspaper, but I can hear the news! So, spent 5-10 mins listening to news while having breakfast. 

2. Google Reader: Google Reader is the latest fad for me. Its almost rare that I go without having a look at the latest feeds any day. And if I don't control, I can go on spending hours reading blogs and bookmarking stuffs. But amazingly it turned out to be quite easy to ditch Reader for the week. (But had to lose on a lot of feeds for the week, as reading 1000+ feeds in one go was simply impossible later).

Cheating: I use Reader to follow the latest in the tech. Well, that can be done using newsletters too. Thank you Gmail!

3. Gmail: If my browser is open, most probably Gmail would be open in one of the tabs. Now, it wasn't practical to let go of Gmail for the whole week. So, I decided to have a look at mails only once in the whole day that too not for more than 15 mins. And well, though it wasn't easy I was able to do that.

Cheating: Well, I won't lie. I did fail in this experiment. On Thursday, I didn't study anything for exams. So, had a lot of time. As a result, did spend a lot of time inside Gmail. Lets not include Thursday into this experiment, OK!

4. Buzz: Another Google product that I use diligently and can spend a lot of time sharing stuffs here. I had tried to ditch Buzz for one week earlier also. And like last time I used Twitter only during the week. But unlike last time, I didn't turn off Buzz inside Gmail. As a result the no. of unread buzz post kept piling. It reached 14, but I resisted my desires to see what others were saying/discussing. Oh, how proud I feel.

Cheating: Actually on the first day itself, I tried to take a sneak peak into one of the Buzz post (just to find out the replier) delivered in the inbox (by right clicking). Couldn't actually see the content but the post got registered as read. Damn it. 

Well I stayed away from the above mentioned things to save some time to study. But wasted the saved time on other stuffs (why don't I fall short of reasons to waste time). But, what I got from performing these experiments is that, ' If I want, I can live without the above mentioned stuffs. They are not necessary for my survival '. Anyway, there were a few more experiments that I tried:

5. Programming: I tried to do/read about programming everyday (and you thought everything I write in my posts are just for namesake). Well, to tell the truth I could manage to do that on 5 days only. But the main aim was to get myself back on track as far as programming is concerned, which I think was accomplished to some extent.

6. Stationery will remain Stationary: Every exam week, I lose some of my stationery because of sharing it with my benchmate/neighbours, who blissfully take it with them after exams get over. This time I decided not to share anything, and to keep track of things in case I had to share. Curiously, I got to share stationery of my benchmate this time (kept mine under wraps, hehe)! But holy hell, I did lose my pencil this time too, not in the examination hall but at home. Damn it. So, as you can see none of the experiments was executed with 100% accuracy. But ask teachers, they will tell that 100% accuracy means you are cheating!

9/11 promises on 9/11

I tried to learn touch typing before also, but like everything else I left it in between. But then about 3 months ago I gave it one more try and made my wish public, promising to give regular updates on the progress made. I did keep on making progress (hitting a few obstacles also in between), and today I have my average speed close to 40. Making my efforts public worked for me one time. I want to try it again. 

1. Weight 60+ Kgs: This one may sound a bit funny, but seriously its not about the weight issue. I myself don't like what I see in the mirror, it undermines my confidence and I have decided to change that. I don't really know what my current weight is but I want to get it to minimum 60 Kg. And its easier said than done. My body is not customized to gain weight easily. So if I achieve this target, this may just be the hardest thing ever achieved by me. 

2. Promises be kept: I boast about how I keep my promises. But in reality, there have been many instances where others have suffered because I couldn't keep my promise. And most of the time it is because I didn't do the things that had more priority. And the reason for that was, I was in control my mind rather than controlling it. So now, either don't make promises or do everything to keep them. 

3. Don't wait to be late: Again seemingly simple but hardest code for me to decode. Wherever to reach, whatever be the time, 90+% of time I reach late. Sometimes, it is because of some unavoidable reasons but other times I feel my mind creates some mental block which causes me to delay or get busy in unnecessary stuffs, thus getting late. So many times I have tried to change this behavior but I guess it has become second nature. And there is nothing to be proud of this habit. 

4. Concentrate to Meditate / Meditate to Concentrate: I have very short attention span. Its hard for me to concentrate even for 15 mins, even in things that I like. I can't stay calm in pressure situation. I have tried meditation to improve that, but I was amazed to see how vehemently the body resisted to it. The mind becomes restless, and I start to feel its a torture to sit quietly for sometime. I even start to doubt whether I am actually meditating or not. 

5. Either be one or forget it: Yesterday I was really disappointed to see my performance in a certain coding test. I accept no one can claim to be the best coder but I think I am not even half good a programmer as I consider myself and tell others to be. I considered it my passion. But if you write code in weeks then you should have serious doubts about your aptitude in programming. This year if I couldn't become a regular programmer (meaning coding at least somewhat everyday) then I will cease to call myself a programmer. 

6. buzzRSH > 50 posts: This one is the 5th post on buzzRSH. If I could get onto half century mark well before next 9/11, then blogRSH will make debut online. And I fail miserably in this endeavor then God forbid, buzzRSH will go offline. 

7. Its a funny issue: I have been getting complaints that I am not the same old RavS, that I used to be about 2-3 years ago. While I think some change in behavior is justified, but becoming someone else is uncalled for. I think I have become a bit too serious about trivial things and am holding onto a lot of grudges. But challenges can be faced without looking depressed. So lets get the old RavS back. 

8. Learn/Do something new: Learning never ends in life. There are so many things that I would like to do/achieve in life, at some point. But when you say at 'some point' you are procrastinating. There will never be a 'right time' to do anything new or different in life. This (sic) is the right time. So, what will I do new in next 365 days? I have no idea right now. But what I have learnt in life is that you learn something when you truly want to learn it. If your intentions are to impress somebody, then you most probably won't learn it. 

9. Stop being afraid: "I fear no one."... Its a popular cliche'. So easy and cool to say. But I am not afraid to admit, I am afraid of a lot of things. There have been many instances where I felt something inside stopping me to do what is right. Not being adventurous/courageous stops you from growing personally. This is certainly not what I want. 

Alright, so these are 9 things that I would like to do for myself. But there are 2 more things that I need to do, more for others (read family/friends) than for me: 

10. Get (a) mobile: OK stop being paranoid about mobiles. Go get one, it won't kill you. After all the blog posts and reasons you give, you gotta admit, you need to get one, if not for yourself then for others. And most of those 'others' are people who care. Its official now, I am getting a mobile before I turn 23. When exactly? That is unknown. Yeah its not really a big task but a task anyway. 

11. Get employed: Doing a 9-5 job is not what I dream of everyday. But for the sake of family, this is the most important thing to do right now. We will see what else can be done in life, but right now, go get a job. I have to be realistic here, I have good chances of getting placed somewhere or other but I have not been given a guarantee, so I must do what I should do, to ensure one. 

Right.. Above 11 points sound like New Years Resolution no? In a way, its a new year for me today. It was so easy to write these 11 points and sounding like I am going to become a Superman from today onwards. 

Changing 1 thing in life is difficult, here I am talking abut 11. These problems are embedded deep in my life. It can't be rooted out in a day(otherwise I would have done it long ago). So, even if I am able to sort out half of these it will be the biggest achievement of my life. I don't promise myself to achieve even one of these. I just want to give an honest try to all these things. Like the one never gave. So even if I fail, I will fail spectacularly. 

Happy Birthday RavS

### buzzRSH ### (When it all started...)

This may just turn out to be interesting....

Hi, my name is RavS and I am here as a (mini) Blogger.

For God knows when, I have been thinking about turning a Blogger. And over time I have been asked by some of my friends also to share my views.

But even after having this deep interest in blogging I have not been able to start my own blog because of a number of reason:

1. Lack of time: I don't think one should start a blog if you can't commit to it.
2. Desire to write long posts: I have always thought a good blog post should be comprehensive. But then that again requires time and effort. And also, now I think a quality post need not be long but precise and interesting.
3. Lack of quality topics: I can't blabber about just anything under the sun. There has to be something that I feel connected to.

So I thought if I can't be a full fledged blogger then why not be a mini Blogger. And Buzz fits the bill once again for that. Who knows if I can develop a discipline of writing here I may one day actually turn a blogger.

So.. in this thread I will write my thoughts. I don't know what I will be blogging about. But I can assure you a few things.

1. The posts will be consistent. At least one per week.
2. They won't contain anything about me that is obvious or known to everybody.
3. They will usually be relatively short. (Nobody has time to read tonnes of text.)
4. They will only contain stuffs that are related to my life somehow or things which I genuinely feel about.
5. They will also act like diary logs.

Notes

Since this will be acting as a place for me to blog, I have to disable comments. Sorry, if you don't like it. If you have anything to say, you can always mail me. 

I am not writing here to show how cool I am but to develop a sense of discipline to write and to give words to my thoughts. 

I don't intend to popularize this thread, so I have made this thread viewable to only 8 persons (my top 8 friends according to latest rankings!). And if you can read this thread, you are one of them!! Just don't tell anyone. 

Reading this thread is completely optional for you. I don't force you but I will appreciate if you can give 5 mins to thread per week.