Goals Vs Life

How times has it happened with you? You don't like something or are stuck. So you decide to make a grand change, or to improve something or to chase a goal. You pump yourself up, make a grand plan and swear to God that THIS time you are going to achieve your goal, or make a permanent change to your life.

And for a few days (or hours) everything goes fine as well, almost exactly as you had envisioned. But then... Life happens. And it always does. That's the only task of life. To happen. For shit to hit the fan. Life's geometry doesn't have straight lines or tangents. It's always made up of tiny (and sometimes huge) sine waves. Ups and Downs. Ebbs and Flow. Crest and Trough.

And that's where the problem arises. You think you will get the same variables everyday, the same cards that you played with on the first day you decided to make the change. But life keeps changing cards everyday (and sometimes doesn't even give you a hand).

That's what separates true achievers from bluffers. "When the going gets tough, the tough gets going" is cliched but true. And while we are talking of cliches : success only tastes sweet after tasting a few bitter pills of failures and setbacks.

I am currently following a schedule of writing at night. So when I sit to write, the emotions are different everyday, depending on how the day went. I haven't written for too many days, but already sometimes I feel clueless about what to write on. And other times while I start, I go blank thinking how to take the blog forward. What good do I have to say anyway?

Of course, writing for the heck of it doesn't make sense either. It's not an essay and I am not getting evaluated and given marks here. I don't want this blog to be another "dear diary" either. Ultimately, the goal is write something of value, if not for you then at least for me.

So, when I hit a road block, I have to remind myself that it won't be gravy always. If the goal is to write daily then I will have to grind sometimes, and not wuss out. It won't always be like this, but good days will come only when I survive these bad days.

The principles remain the same whatever be the goal. It's writing for me, it may be running or dieting or dancing for you. Ultimately it's all about settling in with a process and not allowing the wear and tear of everyday life to hinder your progress. If you want success you have to own the sacrifices too. You can't get one without the other. 

You can't be at your best every day either. Sometimes you have to work at your worst also. And those are the days that define you. If it was that easy everybody would have done it. 

I have written this short blog full of cliches, today. I don't know what tomorrow holds, but for now I can go to sleep knowing I have paid my dues for today. Time for you to pay yours?

PS : Reading and not giving your views ain't cool. 

All Hail Buffalo!

I have never been able to understand why people look into ancient religious texts or look up to expired 'great people' to know how to live life. We can always learn from people and animals nearby us, roaming around in our everyday life.

Well continuing with our annual tradition of writing something on The Buffalo, in today's post I want to discuss what all things we can learn from this humble creature. Of course, some people will rubbish it saying buffalo is a useless animal, and I am a lunatic to think that we can ever learn something from it. But you need to be able to experience what's it like to be a buffalo to be able to truly appreciate its qualities. Now it's up to you, whether you want to take these buffalo advices and be awesome like a buffalo, or keep on living your path3tic life.

No Buffaloes were harmed while taking these pictures.

1. Being a buffalo means being humble: Have you ever seen an animal more humble than a buffalo? Of course, it has far more uses than say a stray dog or a mosquito or a Chimpanzee. But They never keep it in zoo, people never come to visit it. But she never makes a hue and cry out of it. It goes on doing it's work, i.e. giving milk.

Does this buffalo seem to be giving any damn?

2. A buffalo never gives a damn: No buffalo has ever given even a single damn about increasing traffic, or global warming or growing crime rates against women or even terrorism. So, why do we give a damn about any damn thing in the world. All that the buffalo cares about is chewing food and pooping dung and be content with whatever it has.

3. Buffalo does not discriminates: No buffalo has ever refused to give milk to a person belonging to minority or has ever made any reservation for any class of people. It accepts food from anybody whether it's South Indian or West Indian or North eastern Or even Chinese.

"So what's cooking tonight?"

4. Buffalo speaks only one language: that of Love: . You will never hear any buffalo rapping any unmentionable words against any gender. All it says is a "Muaaaah" which can be compared to what people do while giving flying kisses. Hence a buffalo speaks a universal language... of love.

5. A Buffalo never sucks: Unlike a leech or a mosquito; in fact it chews. So, we can learn from a buffalo never to suck in our life but to be awesome and to chew away all our problems and digest it with grace.

These are just a few things to get you thinking. I can mention dozens of others, but point is not write a biography or a motivational book on a buffalo. Buffalo is sufficient in itself and it does not require any fame or glory. 

So, the next time you see a buffalo (or a buffalo-like person), do pause for a moment and admire its beauty. God seldom makes such noble creatures. All hail buffalo!

The Life Philosophers!

In yet another attempt to crowd-source views on a common topic, I asked people (known to me):

"What philosophy/rule that you follow to live your life? Is there any idea at the core of your way of living". 

And as always, I got some really interesting (and not so interesting!) views. This time I have kept the contributions anonymous (as far as possible), to make it more interesting. I have presented them (almost) unedited so as to show what people think about their life. Thank you all who contributed. It of course, wasn't possible without you. Indulge!

"Waqt se pehle taqdeer se jada kabhi kuch ni milta...

But waqt or takdeer dono badle ja skte hain if u have it!

My funda of life"

"My reason to be alive is to live. . Dreams, aims ambitions, sacrifice, dnt excite me, my ultimate goal is to live"

"Mine is " i hv a class to maintain" i keep telling myself this whn nyone does does nything low/ ethically wrong/ with me, i feel like responding in tht same manner ( which i knw, i m capable of) but i cant stoop to their level n keep reminding my self of "i hv a class to maintain" this stops me from taking revenge many at times n keeps my morals in check. Its like " mujmein n doosron mein kya farak hain?". "class ka farak hain""

"THERE IS NOTHING STATIC IN THIS WORLD.

That's what I hav learnt from my life.

Everythng will change one day...

Wheather its climate or the situtions.

Itwill definately change one day..

So we need to create our own ethtics to tackle those circumstances.

After the things we do reflects how much capable weare in the test of life."

"one of them whch always inspires me n even changes my way of thnkng over life, can say motivates me when i got depressed is

" zndgi mohtaz nahi manjilonki , waqt har manjil dikha deta h, koi marta nahi kisi k bichhadne se, waqt sbko jeena sikha deta h.""

"There are actually lots of them! One of them which immediately came into my mind after reading the quote you mentioned goes like: 

"Good things usually happen, bad things sometimes happen" 

- Dr. House (Episode-Nobody's Fault)"

"my personal favourite is dont worry, take it easy, be happy, god bless u"

"Necessity is the mother of invention"

"Life is beautiful when we make it beautiful,its all depends upon us.so make life beautiful......"

"'Average' is my philosophy....everything is average (neither good nor bad)"

"Heaven and hell are two things.its depends upon you what you want....make life like heaven."

Lego Philosophers from Helico. Taken under CC license.

"Philosophy/Rule : Work hard,leave past, live in present & wait for d future.

Quote/Saying : To become old and intelligent, you need to be young and stupid

Idea(Way of living) : I will make the REST of my LIFE, the BEST of my LIFE."

" Life is not fair. Just know that and deal with it. Things are messed up. People are messed up. Nothing is perfect. But what's there to live in a Utopia either? For all I know for now is that I would be frustrated after a few days (months tops) if my life becomes "perfect". It is the challenges, a hunt for something, search for answers that makes life worthwhile for me. I am Prashant Khajotia and this is my philosophy. "

"i do what i want to do in a particular situation, and i dnt bother what others are doing regarding the same thing"

"Philosophy/rule : well i live for all that all what happen in your life is all for ur own good .... 

Quote/Saying : that all your hardship and hard work in your past will make your future good, caring and happy !!! 

Idea : Be good and hlpful to ur loved one nd work hard.. u will surely get a n njoyable life !!"



"dont run here and there like a mouse. Make sure you bell the CAT before you die."



"Love (of bf/gf type) is the most selfish feeling in this world..... thats why stay away from it..... flirting is quite genereous on other hand....."



"Every minute, every second, everything in between those seconds, i only think and dream about you. Whatever i do, it is with the thought of our beautiful future that I wish we will one day share together. Before I met you, I never thought I could be with one person. Now, i can't think of being without the one person, that is you."



"Well my take is simple Ravi, be loyal to your friends and family and play fair if possible and foul if necessary."

A Wannabe Minimalist

"Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication"

~Leonardo Da Vinci

When you don't take care, clutter builds up so easily in your life. More the clutter, more distraction, more stress, more waste of energy taking care of everything.

For past several months, I have been trying to simplify my life while trying to be a minimalist. Some of the steps taken, so far:

• Got rid of unnecessary and dysfunctional electronic items, DVDs and other e-waste. And this was probably the most difficult step, because these stuffs I had bought from my own hard earned money.
• Opened old trunks and wardrobe, took out all the old and outdated clothes and shoes of everyone in family and donated them.
• Loads of books were found lying around unused. I don't like to throw away old books, so we tried to find good keepers, but some had to go to the rag-picker. Old Magazines and Newspapers are my favorite to get rid of.
• Deleted a bunch of movies from system which have been sitting there for months in the hope they would be watched *someday*. The thing is when you are really excited about some movie or TV episode you watch it as soon as possible rather than waiting for *someday*. And when I have less choices, it's easier for me to pick and watch the next movie. 
• Removed redundant software from the system. I no longer have to waste time choosing the right tool for the job as there is only one tool available. System also now feels a little faster!
• Removed a dozen old and 'just-in-case' contacts from the phone contact list. I just know that I am not interested in contacting them anymore, nor will they do anytime soon.
• Half a dozen FB friends were deleted, a bunch of twitter accounts were unfollowed. Just keeping those who are really important.
• Removed a bunch of old and out-of-date bills and warranty cards. Now I am only left with a handful and I am pretty sure I am not going to need them either.
• Removed most of the songs from my MP3 player. In any case, I listen to a limited number of them. Nowadays, I prefer listening to radio.
• Cut short a bunch of blogs I followed. Now it contains only the essentials. Unfortunately I struggle to find time even for them.
• Texting friend is a major activity I perform. Recently I identified about a dozen people out of almost 50, to text regularly. While others still receive texts but it has become 'occassionaly'. This has significantly reduced the stress of keeping contact with everyone and texting feels less of a chore now.
• Threw away a great number of old documents related to self and family that were lying around just-in-case they are needed. That 'just-in-case' occasion never occurred in last one decade.
• Have stopped wearing watch after 7 years of daily use. I now carry a mobile phone and it makes no sense to carry an extra weight on your wrist (I don't consider watches as fashion accessories).
• Trashed a great number of 'unfinished' pieces and ideas for the blog because I felt they were not going anywhere and I didn't want to write just for the sake of writing.
• Have started giving more attention to my writing and eliminating the non-essential (while getting full co-operation from my private editor!). The articles must be crisp and precise to read.
• You might not have noticed but this blog has become a lot more clean than it started. All non-essential stuffs (twitter feed, tag cloud, email subscription, blogger follow gadget, the extra subheading of the blog) have been removed. All you see now is the content and the archives. And that's what matters. And now with the (temporary) Dynamic views set for blog interface has become even more simplified.
• Resigned from the post of moderator/translator from Twitter. It was a very hard and painful decision but I had to do it because other obligations were not allowing me to do justice to the post.

And I must say that this is not the end of it. It has to be just a starting. Simplifying life is an ongoing process, it never ends.I must also tell "subtracting things from life" is not an idea that just popped in my head. I read about it at a few places and have seen people practising *minimalism* and that inspires me to be a minimalist and "simplifist" myself. Of course, an extreme minimalist will pare down stuffs from his life to the bare minimum. I don't want to become that weird guy. I am trying to practice minimalism to the level with which I am comfortable with.

 I have also had a few interesting experiences while conducting these life-experiments and activities:

• Have been facing a lot of opposition and resistance from family while throwing away stuffs. They think it would be "useful sometime in future". And I can totally understand their sentiments as I also used to feel the same sometime ago.
• When you eliminate stuffs from your life, you start using and interacting with other things and people more often hence appreciating them more.
• Separating from a particular thing which you have used in past also involves detaching yourself emotionally from it. Sometimes it is painful, but at other times it is a liberating experience.

Being a minimalist is coo! Give it a try!

The 1 Week Experiment

First thing first, I apologize to all those who were inconvenienced by my 'bizarre' experiment of not accessing FB, Msgs and Lync for a full week. This life experiment was called everything from 'stupid' to 'manic', which is understandable. But the fact is, this is not the first time I have done something like this. Those who know me for a long time would know about some of my past similar life-experiments. In fact, I am a self-proclaimed life hacker and a life hacker keeps on hacking his life, trying new stuffs to see what works for him and what doesn't.

This post is about explaining why I conducted this experiment and what I achieved as a result of it. Let's talk about them one by one:

1. Facebook: 

Less than an year ago, I simply hated Facebook because :

a. I was (am) a Twitter fan and majority of my friends were on FB instead. 

b. Facebook gave me a feeling which we call as 'Big company syndrome'.

But somewhere during July/August I decided to finally make an FB account, not for myself (of course!), but for friends' sake. Now, I will not hesitate to say that I had a great experience being part of FB. In fact, I have been blamed for putting too much information too frequently there, which I believe IS correct.

You want to stay connected with friends all the time. And hence, I have been guilty of checking FB too many times during the day, even when I am on the move. When you get addicted to anything, it leaves a hollow feeling inside whenever you use it. I have had similar problems with Twitter last year, and I was experiencing the same with FB recently. It just didn't seem as much enjoyable. And none of the strategies, whether to not use FB at night times, or use it on alternate days; were working. But what always works for me is a blanket ban!

Findings

The habit of checking FB frequently had been ingrained so deeply, during the first 2 days. I found myself typing facebook's address unconsciously on my mobile's browser (I assure you, I cancelled it before the FB's page loaded :)  But I still won't call it addiction, because I didn't feel the urge to check it while I was engaged in other works. And accessing Twitter instead did help me not to miss FB!

Now, while I return to FB 'cured', I must be careful not to engage myself in it more than required.

---

2. Messages:

In past few months, the self-taken responsibility of updating friends about my whereabouts on a daily basis, has converted me into a text junkie. I found myself texting first thing in the morning and last thing at night, and so many times in between. In fact, it affected me so much that I was not talking to friends on phone for weeks at a stretch. 

But conversation is always 2 ways. I don't get replies to almost 95% of my messages (and hence I am grateful to those who reply). Messaging seems like an effortless activity. But when you have to send it to more than 3 dozen people on a daily basis, it does consume a lot of mental energy. I wanted some respite, and hence no messages for a week.

Findings

Well this one was very difficult to execute, because some of the friends prefer to communicate over messages, which meant almost no communication with them for a week. And I faced a lot of situations during the week where sending a simple message would have solved a lot of discomfort. But while it sucks to inconvenience others, I am proud to say that I didn't make even a single exception for anyone whatsoever.

Not sending messages meant I had to call people during the week, and I am sure all those who received calls from me would be pleased. At least, I was very happy to hear their voice after a long time :)

Going forward, I plan to send messages when I 'really' have something to say, and preferably to those who can reply (I am NOT a messaging service!). I also relieve myself of the pressure to communicate with everyone. It's not Just MY responsibility. But, I would like to continue calling people more often, even though it discomforts me.

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3. MS Lync (Work place's internal communicator):

The purpose of this tool in office is to instantly connect with people for 'official' tasks. But we end up using it to chat at work. And people who have ever tried to work peacefully would tell you how much difficult it is to work without distraction with IM open all the time.

When you have a lot of friends and contacts, you are bound to be contacted every few minutes (ain't complaining just stating the fact). And setting the status 'busy' doesn't help because friends don't care how 'busy' you are! I myself have been guilty of checking whoever is online every few minutes, which is fine when you don't have work but is a big productivity-killer when you are trying hard to finish off a task. 

And people would tell you how much difficult it is to 'chat', with dozens of team mates lurking around. I have been 'caught' by seniors with many chat windows open, and while I was not reprimanded, it's not a good feeling. So, what's the solution? When you are not connected, how will you get disturbed?!

Findings

This one was relatively easier. You change the settings so that Lync doesn't autostart, and minimizes to notification area, instead of task bar and voila!! You are free from a nuisance. I should say that when I got tired at the end of the day, I did have urges to chat for 'a few minutes'. But, it doesn't take much for 'a few minutes' to become 'over an hour'. 

I will be logging into MS Lync this week onwards, but I will have to be careful not to be connected all the time. So, while I work, I will work without distraction. And while I chat, I will chat without guilt. 

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In Conclusion...

And there you go. All said and done, the experiment was fantastically done and completed. And the objectives of conducting it (to find more about myself) were accomplished. While I did miss the feeling of being connected, and my usual conversations, chatter and banter; I really liked the peace of mind that I got in return. But, I hope I don't have to repeat such an "idiotic" thing again, because it wasn't as easy as  it sounds like. Having said that, my experiments with life will continue!

जिंदगी भी सही मजाक है!

Note: This is NOT Poem. This is Life.

जितना चाहे पढ़ लो इसे,

मगर पूछती ऐसे सवाल है, जिनका होता नहीं जवाब है,

बिना इंडेक्स की थकेली किताब है,

ज़िंदगी भी सही मजाक है|

जब छोटा था तो बड़े होने की जल्दी थी,

अब बड़ा हूँ, तो बचपन याद आता है,

वो टाइम मशीन बनाने वालोँ का क्या हिसाब है?

ज़िंदगी भी सही मजाक है|

जब चीटिंग करो तो पकड़े जाओ,

जब चीटिंग ना करो तो भी पकड़े जाओ,

भैंस की आँख, अपनी तो तो किस्मत ही खराब है,

ज़िंदगी भी सही मजाक है|

कुत्ते के तरह पढो, तो नंबर नहीं आते,

खयाली पुलाव पकाने पे रिकॉर्ड टूट जाते हैं,

अपना तो एजुकेशन सिस्टम ही लाजवाब है,

ज़िंदगी भी सही मजाक है|

जब भी मैंने किसी चीज़ को बड़ी ही शिद्दत से चाहा,
तो पूरी कायनात मेरी वाट लगाने में लग गयी,
कभी-कभी तो पूरी दुनिया ही लगती खिलाफ है,  
ज़िंदगी भी सही मजाक है|

दोस्त अक्सर पूछते हैं,
के मेरी कंकाली का क्या राज है,
बावड़ी पून्छो, जो तुम खा जाते थे,
वो मेरी दिन-भर की खुराक है,  
ज़िंदगी भी सही मजाक है|

कह-कह के "फेसबुक झकास है, झकास है",

बच्चे की जान ले ली,
और अगर मैं ट्विट्टर यूज़ करूँ,
तो वो लगता सबको बकवास है,  
ज़िंदगी भी सही मजाक है|

इत्ती मेहनत से ये ब्लॉग बनाया, दर्जनो पोस्ट लिख मारे,
तो लोग कहते हैं, "यार एक बात बताओ, तुम्हारे पास नहीं कोई काम-काज है?",
सही कहा दोस्तोँ, बेरोजगारी के दिन है,

आजकल तो साली  ज़िंदगी भी लगती मजाक है|

The importance of various days in my life

About 4 weeks ago I got 3 messages on the occasion of Friendship day. One message felt like it was made out of a Christmas SMS, so it felt more of an obligation for the day. Another felt apologetic for wishing, since the person knew I don't believe in Friendship day. And the third message was guilt ridden, since it came late to me! And it was amusing, because I never wanted any of those messages to remind me that they were one of my most cherished friends.

Anyway, that prompted me to think about what all days hold importance in my life, and which ones don't. This post is a result of that. Here is the list of few days (not in any order) and why they are or aren't important to me.. 

1. The Independence Day: OK I may not be the best patriot this country has ever produced, but that doesn't stop me of feeling proud to be an Indian, even after all the shortcomings it has. "..Koi bhi desh perfect nahin hota, use perfect banana padata hai..". I like to spend the day giving some thoughts to India and its problems and resolving to do something for this country, howsoever small.

2. Diwali: It used to be night of crackers when I was a kid. But now, I 'say no to crackers'. But this is the day I try and greet all my friends, old and new. Ones whom I meet everyday or talk to once in a year. This is the day I genuinely feel happy and look forward to every year. This is one of those days that you feel like it happened yesterday. 

3. The New Years Day: Pretty obvious. Who doesn't like to welcome the new year. This is the day for me to leave the painful memories of the past behind and look forward to days to come. Plus this is a global festival. So you celebrate with the whole earth! 

4. Dusshera/Durgapuja : I miss going to midnight RamLila or Durgapuja. Sitting on ground with common people watching poor actors enact human gods. I felt connected to my roots. But still I don't miss out on watching the climax of the epic saga. The burning of effigies. You want your inner demons also to burn with the symbolic ones. 

5. Birthdays(Friends/Family): These days hold prime importance in my life. This is the day to make your loved ones happy. Try not to miss the opportunity. Buying gifts is the small part, the important thing is to make the day special for them, so that they can remember it in the days to come. 

6. Birthday(Mine): NO. I don't like celebrating my birthday. And it has nothing to do with the date of my birthday. When I was young this was the day to look forward to, since I got to wear new clothes, cut the cake, and party with friends. And I liked growing, I mean physically. I don't see that growth happening any more, and I don't see any improvements in my EQ level too, which means I am just aging. There is nothing to celebrate about it. I think this is the best period of the only life I have got. Birthday reminds me that time is going away. So, I like to keep a low profile this day, spending it quietly. That's the way I 'celebrate' my birthday. 

7. Holi: Why is that every festival that you look forward to as a kid, looses its sheen when you grow up? Nothing special for me on this day, except good food to eat. Haven't played with colors for last 5 years. Boring personality, eh? 

8. Father's Day/Mother's Day/Friendship Day/Valentine Day/Rose Day/God-knows-which Day: I consider all these days to be nothing but marketing gimmick. People just want to play with your sentiments by offering various products for various days. Of course making money in the process too. And we people also take this opportunity to shower all our love for the whole year by forwarding to every person in the contact list the chain messages we got from others! I would rather like to celebrate Sis day (Rakhi) and Teachers' day, since they are based on culture rather than commerce.

9. Festivals of other religions: I am a Hindu but I have equal respect for all religions. So, I look forward to days like Eid, Lohri, Christmas, Buddha Purnima. Alas, don't have many to share my happiness on these days. But I celebrate them in my own special small way.

10. Sunday: I look forward to this holiday. Spend it in my own special way (more on this some other time). Thank God, (or the human who made the Gregarion Calender) for providing this day once every week. I don't need to highlight the importance of this day in any working person's life.

Alright, so this is it. These are the days that I could think of as being most (or less) important in my life. What do you think? Which are your favorite days? Drop in a comment on the 'comments' thread.

PS: If given the powers and the authority, I would like to create my own days like JhanDay (personalized version of Fool's day), Bhains-ki-day (I believe buffalo should get as much respect as holy cow), Gaddhay (Lets make our city a better and safe place to leave in by filling potholes and covering manholes).