January 16, 2014

Eventually, everyone's going to die

Death is one of the most interesting topics I like to contemplate on.  I have written a few times on it before. And this is a never ending chain of thoughts. It keeps me grounded when other unimportant things start to cloud up my judgement. 

I am afraid of a lot of things, but one thing that scares me the most is dying early (who isn't you ask, but please read on). I am not a believer in life-after-death and rebirth & stuff. So these few years or decades are the only thing I really have. If I leave today, I know somehow my friends and family will survive. Probably with a child less and a little less money. Probably with a friend less and one person less to hangout with. They will remember me of course, but they will move on, sooner or later.

But what I would regret the most is not being in their lives to make a difference. And I believe I certainly can. I can help someone to solve their problems. I can be there for someone to listen to, when all they need is someone to listen to. I can be there to make someone laugh with my corny jokes. I can be there when someone needs an advice. I can be there when they need someone to rely on. I can be there when they need someone to be proud of. 

So, I see a lot of potential in me to make a difference, even if miniscule, in so many lives in a positive way. Hence, what scares me is dying without warning and not getting a chance to do so. 

And from the same school, this thought comes from... Eventually, everyone's going to die...

The people you loved,
The people who loved you,
The people who needed your love,
The people you envied,
The people you hurt, 
The people you could have made happier,
The people you aren't on talking terms with, due to your ego,
The people who took care of you,
The people you cared about,
The people you were too proud to be vulnerable against,
The people you refused to even try to understand, 

... they will be gone. One by one. Most probably before you go. Some of them unexpectedly. 

We always have less time with each of them than we think. To spend it not doing something worth doing, just because we would feel uneasy or embarrassed or it requires effort, would be a shame. 

Time and again I think about this... Could I stop doing some of the useless shit, and probably do something to make someone happy? Surprise them? Delight them? Make them smile? Make them feel good about themselves? Show them that I care? Tell them that they are not alone and I have been there or am there? May be even inspire them with my actions?

No, I am not good with this. And no, I am no Mother Teresa to be spending 100% of my waking time doing this. But making it a side-business isn't a bad idea. 

Of course, we want money and success and power and glory and a good lifestyle. I won't bullshit. I am in the rat race, with everyone else. But I wonder if that's all there's to life. Our time on Earth is limited. Is spending it running after success and fame ONLY a good use of it? 

You are probably reading this in the morning. When you sleep tonight, do me a favor, and ask yourself this:
 How many lives did I influenced positively today? How many people would be happy that I was alive today?

I certainly will.