January 13, 2014

Why I want a Gay friend

Caution: Mature Content. This has been written with utmost seriousness, I would advise those looking for humor to wait for a few days. 

Note the title. It says "Why I want a Gay friend", and NOT "Why I need a Gay friend". There's subtle difference, but an important one. But then, why does it matter? What if I NEED a GAY friend? What if I AM GAY? G.A.Y. -> gay, Gay, GAY. Makes you uncomfortable to read?  Thought so.

Why is homosexuality such a taboo word in our society that the person who is Gay is is treated as if suffering from an incurable disease like AIDS? Why is that one of the "fast food" (which is cheap and easy) ways to "ridicule" a person is to call them Gay? Why is it so "unnatural" for a person to romantically and physically be involved another person of same sex, that our country requires a law like 377 to "put them away"? So that they can not make us "impure", so that they cannot "corrupt our mentality", and so as to "save our children" from their "influences". 

It seems that the only thing worse than being a woman in this country is to be person with alternative sexual preferences. Since our male-dominated extremely horny but heterosexual society could not digest the fact "such people" can also exist, they decided that these people are "sick". But of course, if you are a pedophile our society will not make a hue & cry about whom you rape. Nobody will ever call you a "gay paedophile", some might even "sympatise" with you. Cheers!

There are so many things that I hate about our society and at so many levels, that when I start to write about it, sometimes I feel like throwing Shraddha against the wall.

But, I haven't come to the question of "Why I want a Gay friend" yet, have I? Is it just to prove to the world that I am a modern thinking man who is acceptable of people with all kinds of sexual preferences? Well Yes, and No.

Yes, because I believe if anyone is not interfering in how you live your life, you shouldn't interfere whatever damn they do in theirs. Do you ever go and shout that your "Ishwar" or religion is way better than one's "Allah" or faith? Or even more ridiculous, that it's the only TRUE God or religion, just because most people in your country practice your religion? Then why do you come in media and tell that the way you do sex is the only "right" way just because most of us do it that way?

No, because I really want to know what it means to be Gay. I mean of course, their is a sexual component to it. But does it just end there? It cannot be. There has to be a much higher and more complex platonic, and dare I say - even spiritual, component to it. Just like a "normal" guy doesn't fall for any girl walking on the road, how do Gay people decide on their partner for life? What does it mean to have "feelings" for a person of same sex? More importantly, how can a person does NOT have "feelings" for a person of opposite sex, because that's how our biology has been programmed, right?

Now, I can hear some of you shouting out there : "Go to some of their damn demonstrations and meets in your local city, if you REALLY want to befriend some gay person. And stop proving yourself "holier-than-thou" by writing this, and then making us read it". OK, I admit, that would be a more fruitful process. But have I ever mentioned I am extremely lazy? 

For the record, I did visit Akshara Theatre recently and watched the play "The trials of Oscar Wilde", which was based on the subject of homosexuality. And there were some "people" in the vicinity. So, probably I will visit their processions one of these days.

Here's another important reason: Writing all this is always the easy part. I want to see if my behavior really remains the same as I am trying to portray here. Will I feel weird? Will I be not "embarrassed" about having a gay friend?  Will I be look at him only as a friend and not classify him as "Gay" or "Non-Gay"?

Just like people from minority religions and faiths, these also need to be celebrated or at the very least accepted. That acceptance can only come from understanding. That understanding can only come from befriending them and getting to know more about them. We can only befriend them by letting ourselves think of them as much more than a "butt of all jokes".  

Even though I do not know a single Gay person or have knowingly talked to one, I can assure you they are not "sick". They are just different. Eliminate your petty thinking, instead of thinking to eliminate them.  

Your thoughts?


PS: Apologies for so many "quotes". I call my laptop - "Shraddha".