My Phone. My Rules.

I don't like Mobile Phones. Mobile Phone might be single biggest annoying device for introverts like me, ever invented. Life was simpler when I didn't have a phone. But now it has become something that I can't avoid. 

BTW for those uninitiated, I have switched for X2-01 to MMX A89 !

I don't talk to a lot of people on phone during the course of my day. But still I end up attending at least a dozen phone calls from the time I wake up and till I go to bed (and sometimes even later). And this adds to the stress of working under pressure for long hours, travelling long distances daily, sleeping for less than 7 hours etc. No wonder I feel like a zombie on weekends!

I am not sure if I suffer from ADHD but I do have a short attention span. And having such an enticing device only worsens the condition. We all know how we get hooked to a social network and then become so addicted to it that we have to check it every now and then, mostly unconsciously. Phone is far more dangerous in that department. Sitting in your pocket it contains all the social networks that you "Love" so much, it has your songs, it has your audiobooks, the ebooks that you read, your news feed, your videos and what not. And on top of that, it is device which lets hundreds of people who know you (and sometimes don't even know you) connect to you at a moment's notice, unannounced, almost whenever they wish to be. I know this is exactly why phones were invented, but, in between all this just when do you have the time to do what you love, or spend time with yourself, pay attention to the people you are with?

I also have problem talking on phones. So, I don't call people for weeks, even after promising them, sometimes don't pick up the phone because 'I don't feel like talking', or reject a call thinking I would call them later, which mostly never happens. What's worse, this happens even when my good friends or family members call me. And this is of course, inconvenient for them many times, as they might need some urgent help from me which I won't be able to provide. 

So, today through this post, I state a few rules underpinning my usage of mobile device. It's written mostly for myself, but hopefully after reading it you might get inspired to set your own rules. I also make them public so that you can point it to me if/when I break any of these rules. Because, let's face it, phone is an untamed beast which will require some strict discipline to make it work to my advantage.

1. No checking messages/emails/tweets in the morning: A good morning can have a great effect on your day. And there can't be a better start of your morning than doing something for yourself. But when checking your phone is the first thing you do in the morning you are allowing dozens of other things enter your mind, most of them useless thus taking away the precious little mental energy to do something fruitful.

2. When I am focusing on something, my phone must be switched off: How many times it has happened with me that when I am programming, reading a book, an interesting blog, really enjoying my music or a movie, the damn phone starts ringing. I have a choice to reject the call, or silence the ringer but the whole experience gets ruined due to it. 

3. No phone after 11 pm: I am Not the person who can be reached 24x7. Sorry about that. But again, if phone rings after 11 pm, when I am trying to sleep or just relaxing in general, it is a huge put-off. I can't allow that to happen.

4. No phone on Sundays (except when I am working / travelling): Sundays don't feel like Sundays anymore. I don't really remember when was the last time I had a Sunday all by myself, doing nothing but relaxing. So, Sundays must be reclaimed.

5. No checking notifications/Internet at the workstation: Workstations are meant for working, seriously. You don't want anything distracting you.

6. Internet off when not in use: Always-on Internet not only sucks out the battery from my phone, it's also a great distraction through chat notifications.

7. If I get a call, and I don't want to talk right now, then

    a) I Must still pick up the phone, 

    b) Inform the person about my inability to talk right now,

    c) Give them a definite time to call back later

    d) Actually call them at that time

I don't do any of these parts right now.

8. If I have a choice between making a call and sending a message to a person, I must call them: Right now, I use messages because I am an awkward phone conversationist. But an important part of getting better at something is to start practicing it. Also, it's quite obvious text messages/chats, as an alternative form of communication are a huge time-wasters.

9. If I have an important call to make, I do it first thing before checking off anything else from my To-Do list of the day: I repeat, I dread phone calls. But what's gotta be done, gotta be done. Call the person, keep it short and be done with it.

10. I Must answer every phone call immediately if conditions #2, #3, #4 don't apply.

If you are reading this and happen to be my friend, this is an important piece for you as well. Please do not mind, if I am not reachable at a certain point of time.  You can drop me a message if I am not available to pick up my phone, and I promise to call you as soon as possible.  

I know emergencies come and phone calls at off times are inevitable but those should be exceptions rather than the norm. We all have a right to live our life in our own ways. I am just trying to live my life, my way.

An year long affair... with Mobile Phone

For those who know me and have been following this blog know that I never liked to keep a phone in my pocket and have a little "phono-phobia".

Just over an year ago, I finally caved in to the enormous family and friends' pressure and got myself a mobile phone. Moving into another city in 2 days, it was kind of necessary. And now, after an year I have been reduced to be just another regular phone user.

And I must say that the experience hasn't been as bad as I feared. It's been worse!

• The feeling of being connected all the time: This was the most important reason for not keeping a phone. I am  a reserved person and I don't like to be in contact with the world 24x7. I want some personal space and need to cut off from the world from time to time. But ever since acquiring my X2-01, seldom have I parted with it. In fact, I sleep with my phone every night (literally!). Forget weekdays, even weekends are not mine. The number of contacts have increased significantly over the time and so I must now be available round the clock for everyone.

• The anxiety of information: By constant usage, my mind has not ingrained this habit of unconsciously checking the phone every now and then, to see if there are any new messages, phone calls, likes/comments on my latest status update.  In fact, the condition is so worse that I have trouble keeping my phone switched off for a few hours .

• One of the worst forms of distractions: When I didn't have a phone of my own, I used to use a family phone to converse and chat according to My own schedule. But now I need to go according to others' convenience. Which means I would get a phone call or an IM or an SMS in the middle of my working hours. And of course, I can't go without checking them, even if it interrupts my work 'flow'.

• Becoming overly dependent: I use my phone to be in contact with dozens of friends, to see my mails on the go, to tweet/update FB, to learn new words, to google and learn more about something new/news, to write poetry, to listen to music and audio-books, to take occasional interesting snaps, and a million more things. So, if you take away my phone, you take away all those activities from me.

If I have lived without a phone previously, I know I can still survive without it. But I am of the view that a mobile phone is less for you and more for the people known to you.  I also understand I am not the only person struggling with these problems, in fact, virtually every phone user will be able to empathize with me.

Phone is a modern day necessary evil. So, while I can't make it completely go away, I do plan to take a few steps to minimize its damage. Like not checking messages during work hours and to deliberately keep the phone off for a few (pre-scheduled) hours every week. I hope, these steps become successful and things get better in the coming year.

Why I don't have a Mobile?

Sometime ago, someone asked me why don't I carry a mobile phone. And I replied that 'I don't want one'. But later, I introspected.. Do I really don't want to have a mobile? And the answer I got was, No I need one... I need a mobile device which I can use as a PMP because, like everyone else, I am an avid music listener. And to be able to share a video or two with friends during free time, never hurts. I need a mobile device to take an odd picture or two. There are moments, that you really want to capture forever, and you rue the fact that you don't have a camera handy at that time. I need a device which I can use to read stuff on the move (think ebook reader). There are lot of cool stuff on the system or over web that you want to read, but reading through the monitor (that too a measly 15" CRT one) is really a pain in the.. eyes. A phone can be handy for everyday alarm and for making reminders. 

But if I really need it, then why don't I have it already?

1. I don't want a device on which I can be contacted 24X7. OK, you have friends and family, that care about you and want to be constantly in touch with you. But then you gotta have a life of your own. I have a home no. on which I can be contacted when at home. Otherwise I try to contact back. And I can be easily contacted online. Why would I want someone to bug me, when I am spending quality time with friends or doing something creative, or relaxing or traveling? And though I love my family very much, I don't want them to constantly pester me about my whereabouts. It irritates me (opinions vary of course).

2. I am happy without a mobile phone. Today, its considered a surprise when people don't have a mobile. In fact, some people have so varying needs that they carry multiple phones for different purposes. But, for me its a matter of feeling proud rather than ashamed about not having a phone. Thank God, at least somewhere I fall in the minority category!

3. I have more important things on my wish list. That includes upgrading my old work horse, a tiny miny netbook, a digicam etc. If I have the money, I will burn it on them. If I still have the money, then may be i will buy a mobile too.

4. Its really fun to do without a mobile. I have very generous friends who don't mind letting me use their mobile for an odd call or message. And if thats not possible, then a PCO booth is almost always some distances away. So, may be a little inconvenient, but people can really live without phone. I seldom regret not having a phone. Believe me, one can survive without a phone in this world.

5. I am trying to keep someone's promise. Someone promised me about buying me a mobile phone about 2 years back (at that time, even I wanted to buy one). But then due to some reason or other, that person hasn't been able to fulfill the promise (I don't have an iota of doubt about the person's will). I don't want to break the promise, by buying a mobile phone myself. 


So, these are some of my reasons why I still don't have a mobile. But I do see myself carrying mobile in the future. I respect people who have mobiles, they need it, so they have it. I just want a similar respect about my views. I do not need it (for now), so I don't have it. Period.