Why I don't Like FaceBook (Anyway!)

Well I have been getting numerous requests for joining Facebook for months now. I had to make a filter in my inbox to keep all requests away (but I still get one or 2 a month anyway). No, I am not a celebrity whom people would be delighted to see. It's just that a lot of my friends are on the "The" Social Network and they want to see me there too. And that's pretty understandable because I want to see more and more people in my own little network, interacting, participating and sharing stuffs. So what's the big deal in joining (or not joining) FB? Well, this post is a PR blog that explains the same:

1. I already use a social network: Orkut anyone?! I joined Orkut in 2007 and have used it a lot circa 2007-2009. In fact, I even coerced a few people to join me there. A lot of people (we Indians at least) were a fan of Orkut at that time, so it was a lot of fun interacting with long lost friends (especially since social networking was a new thing). But over the years, people moved on to Facebook (and for right reasons I think) but I was stuck using Orkut (though I did delete my previous account and made a new one, removing clutter (read 'unwanted friends')). Most people I believe still have an Orkut account. If you really want to join me on a social network, come Orkut! I check my Orkut account at least once a week.

2. Too many friends: People like to have friends and this is what online networking is all about. But it may come as a surprise that I don't like to have too many friends. I just want to have a close set of friends with whom I am comfortable interacting and discussing anything under the sun, and can do so on a daily basis. I made a lot of 'friends' over Orkut (big mistake!) and when they don't interact, don't reply back; they just become a hassle, a kind of formality that you have to complete by exchanging greetings every Holi/Diwali/Eid/Christmas/New Year. I don't want to come on Facebook and face the same old situation again.

3. No Time: It's not that I am not active online. In fact, I may be more active than a lot of people. I check (and reply!) emails, chat on IM, read RSS feeds, maunder on Twitter (too much!), share stuffs on Buzz on a daily basis. Sometimes I ask questions on IRC/forums, now even watch YouTube videos here and there (what about blogging?). I don't want to join another network if I can't give anytime to it. What's the use of making an account and forgetting to visit it for months?

4. Do I need another network?: And this is the most important thing. I still believe meeting one-to-one is the best form of buddying, followed by probably making calls/sms. And everybody will agree that I reply to their mails as soon as I can. Or you can use tons of mediums I noted down above to interact with me. The simple fact is that I can easily contact anyone whom I want to interact right now. So why use FB? You may remember when I wrote "Why I don't have a Mobile". It's all about requirements. When you can do without it, what's the need?

5. I am a bit skeptical of it: I don't know, but I don't get a very positive vibe when hear about Facebook. It's a lot like when other people think about Google and it's products. I have heard a lot of negative things about it (though I have to admit, every good thing has its shortcomings) and their privacy loopholes. I feel like it is a big monster waiting out there to engulf me. May be it has something to do with Big Company Syndrome.

Now I know it is a bit lame to expect everyone to leave their favorite network just to interact with me (after all I don't do the same!). And I also know that I miss a lot of good things by not being on Facebook. So I do believe, I will join Facebook someday. May be tomorrow, may next week, this year or a few years down the line. I just don't know exactly when.

And I would also like to make it clear that the reason I don't have an FB account is  NOT because I don't know how to make one! To tell the truth, I do have a Facebook account! In fact, I have made 1 or 2 accounts few years back, when I was trying everything (including MySpace!). I made the account, checked its interface, found it a bit difficult to use, found no friends, stopped using it. And now either I don't remember the password, or have deactivated the account.

But I would really like to hear arguments in favor of Facebook (other than what I have already mentioned). Please motivate me to make an account!

That Awkward Phone Conversation

"... if that was the case, you could have at least called and told me.."

"... where were you yesterday? I was calling..."

Don't get me wrong if I am not calling you. It's not you, it's me...

Remember I made a to-do list sometime ago? Well there was an important point mentioned there, "Call friends". Well I was able to complete almost everything in that list but this was left behind. Well, I can give the excuse that it was because of I had no balance in the phone during morning, but then there was credit at evening time. But I didn't call anybody that day. 

Reason??

Well the reason is simple, I am not a very good phone buddy. Part of that can be attributed to my introvert nature. But more than that I am not comfortable with the mode of conversation itself. 

• If you are text chatting with someone you are actually replying to the text sent, with a text of your own (yeah, as if you didn't knew already :); there is no face or voice involved here. Plus this mode is slower than other modes (unless you are the chat ninja) so you get time to articulate your thoughts and continue/divert the conversation. 

• If you are talking face to face, the person is in front of you, so you see her/his reaction/expressions and can change the topic. Otherwise the next person can sense your awkwardness and bail you out of the situation. Also there are a lot of other things that can be done besides talking ;)

• Now turn to a phone conversation. I know voice is a very powerful medium but it seems a phone conversation has got all the limitations of other modes without giving any significant advantages. It neither has slowness of text/messaging nor the closeness of a face2face interview.

So, if I have an option between meeting a person and calling, I will easily choose to travel to meet the person.

The thing is that during phone calls after sometime I am at lose of ideas to continue (don't blame me if I don't rehearse before calling) and then it gets really awkward. You don't want to continue with the conversation any longer due to loss of words but you don't want to cut the line abruptly either. But the silence is creeping, so you try desperately to search for something to continue; you are talking after a long time, there has to be something to talk about, com'n think, think... And then.. you either talk about something you discussed just a short while ago or come up with something pretty nonsense.

And it gets very shameful when it happens with a close friend or even a family member. The same people with whom you have no inhibition to share the bed (and I mean it with right sense) can become a cause of embarrassment while talking over phone, after a long time. And if it's a formal call, then it is surely going to happen at the last minute.

So, in short my point is that I usually avoid phone conversations. And if someone calls home and the phone is not actually meant for me, I usually don't pick it up and let it ring for someone else to pick (It's not that the next person will kill me through the receiver; but then everything has a first). Thankfully GSM provides SMS bearer service by default to all the subscribers and nowadays Internet messaging seems God sent.

So, if you are getting a phone call from my side; remember 2 things:

1. This call is so important that I felt other modes won't suffice. Thank Me! And try to keep the conversation short so as to maximise your probability of getting a phone call in future.

AND/OR

2. You are one of the lucky fews with whom I can share a good phone conversation, without much problem. Congratulate yourself!

Alright, now that you have read it. "Yaar, kya baat hai. Tum to kabhi call hi nahin karte" .... DUBAARA MAT POOCHANA!

It's Not "My" Problem

There are a few people who are gifted with the ability to talk over long times, so one doesn't really have to try hard to keep up the conversation. But it seems, it's not just my problem (although I may be the terminal case). I have heard many people repeating "how is X, how is x (X's son), how is y, how is a, how is x" OR "so what's up; what's going on; anything new; so what's up". I know these act as conversation starters/fillers, but if the conversation mainly consist of these phrases only then I think it is time to shut up and hang up.

So, if you are also suffering from similar kind of inhibitions, (anonymously) comment and tell about your tragic story. Remember, don't consider yourself alone in this world. When God made man, he didn't realise that man will have to converse over phone.

PS: This applies to everyone, those who are reading it NOW, those who will read it in the future and also those who won't read. Well, Wish no one has to read this, they just get up one day and know... RavS is phonophobic.

Why I don't have a Mobile?

Sometime ago, someone asked me why don't I carry a mobile phone. And I replied that 'I don't want one'. But later, I introspected.. Do I really don't want to have a mobile? And the answer I got was, No I need one... I need a mobile device which I can use as a PMP because, like everyone else, I am an avid music listener. And to be able to share a video or two with friends during free time, never hurts. I need a mobile device to take an odd picture or two. There are moments, that you really want to capture forever, and you rue the fact that you don't have a camera handy at that time. I need a device which I can use to read stuff on the move (think ebook reader). There are lot of cool stuff on the system or over web that you want to read, but reading through the monitor (that too a measly 15" CRT one) is really a pain in the.. eyes. A phone can be handy for everyday alarm and for making reminders. 

But if I really need it, then why don't I have it already?

1. I don't want a device on which I can be contacted 24X7. OK, you have friends and family, that care about you and want to be constantly in touch with you. But then you gotta have a life of your own. I have a home no. on which I can be contacted when at home. Otherwise I try to contact back. And I can be easily contacted online. Why would I want someone to bug me, when I am spending quality time with friends or doing something creative, or relaxing or traveling? And though I love my family very much, I don't want them to constantly pester me about my whereabouts. It irritates me (opinions vary of course).

2. I am happy without a mobile phone. Today, its considered a surprise when people don't have a mobile. In fact, some people have so varying needs that they carry multiple phones for different purposes. But, for me its a matter of feeling proud rather than ashamed about not having a phone. Thank God, at least somewhere I fall in the minority category!

3. I have more important things on my wish list. That includes upgrading my old work horse, a tiny miny netbook, a digicam etc. If I have the money, I will burn it on them. If I still have the money, then may be i will buy a mobile too.

4. Its really fun to do without a mobile. I have very generous friends who don't mind letting me use their mobile for an odd call or message. And if thats not possible, then a PCO booth is almost always some distances away. So, may be a little inconvenient, but people can really live without phone. I seldom regret not having a phone. Believe me, one can survive without a phone in this world.

5. I am trying to keep someone's promise. Someone promised me about buying me a mobile phone about 2 years back (at that time, even I wanted to buy one). But then due to some reason or other, that person hasn't been able to fulfill the promise (I don't have an iota of doubt about the person's will). I don't want to break the promise, by buying a mobile phone myself. 


So, these are some of my reasons why I still don't have a mobile. But I do see myself carrying mobile in the future. I respect people who have mobiles, they need it, so they have it. I just want a similar respect about my views. I do not need it (for now), so I don't have it. Period.