February 19, 2014

Meri Bhains ko Andaa kyon maara?

Aka... Why did you hit my buffalo with an egg?

Well, I don't know....

May be I don't like you. (High possibility. I don't like a lot of people. I am a celebrated two faced)

May be I don't like bhains. (Zero probability. Bhains is my favorite animal. Screw you if you don't like Bhains).

May be I don't like Your bhains. (May be it's so cool that I am jealous. When I am jealous I do a lot of things.).

May be I don't like Andaas. (Of course, I don't like Andaa. I am allergic to it).

May be I had too many Andaas, I was throwing them out and your bhains just came on the way. (That's just a sad accident. But the bigger question is from where did I get so many Andaas?)

May be I just wanted to argue with you. (Which means either I hate you, or I like you a lot. Like really a lot).

May be I just wanted you to talk to me, so that I can tell you an important thing. ("Why didn't you call bro?" You ask. Well. Well. Well.).

May be I was just aiming at you, but your loyal bhains came in between to save her master. (Quite a possibility. I have a very bad aim. Besides numerous scientific researches say bhains is more loyal than dogs).

May be I was just practicing throwing Andaas. (Who knows throwing Andaas becomes an Olympic sports now that wrestling might not be.).

May be I saw a killer fly over your bhains, and killed it with my Andaa, thus saving your bhains. (In which case, you should thank me. And apologize for your bad behavior. In written).

May be I was just trying to feed your bhains by throwing Andaas at her. (As I said, I have a very bad aim. Have you ever eaten peanuts by throwing them in air?)

May be I was juggling with Andaas, and your bhains came in my way deliberately, making me fall down but taking all the Andaas on her. (I always maintain, Karma is a bitch!)

May be it was not me who threw Andaas at your bhains. May be it was someone else. (Go figure out Sherlock. Go!).

May be your bhains watches too much Saas-Bahu soaps. It threw Andaa on herself and blamed me. (After all bhains is a female. Saas-Bahu brainwashes all females. All.)

May be I am a racist and so I threw Andaa at your "black" buffalo. (Yeah, I am a proud racist. I like to call my black friend "Kaalu".  But then Black is my favorite color. Not a valid reason to throw Andaas at a poor bhains).

May be you are just drunk. (Check tomorrow morning. May be I haven't hit your bhains with Andaas after all).

May be I just wanted to find out, whose bhains is it anyway? Who let the bhains out?(Ok, now I know, it's you!).

May be it's you who hit your own bhains with an Andaa and now are trying to put the blame on me. (What wrong have I done to do you? Please tell me. We can sort it out. No need to bring a bhains in between our personal matters).

May be it's not me. It's the hen, which gave an Andaa while flying high over your bhains. (Highly unlikely I know. But Impossible is Nothing. Adidas).

May be your bhains participated in a talent show, but performed very poorly. (It's customary to throw Andaas and Tamaatars in such situations. Don't blame me. Blame your bhains).

... There could be a million other reasons. As I said, I don't know.

Long back a great guy told me "An eye for an eye makes the whole world Bhains ki eye" (that guy was a drug addict and died prematurely).

Let's forget the past. Stop obsessing  over who hit your bhains with an Andaa. Let's have truce now... Friends?

'Colored' Lord Krishna with all 'White' animals. I take inspiration from him for racism. Picture taken in a temple of AP.