April 15, 2014

Why Sunny Bhabhi must be the Prime Ministerial Candidate for India

I am just fed up. I have stopped watching news now. When I wrote about AAP half an year ago, I was excited. Excited about where Indian politics was going. Hopeful that AAP was the real game changer as they promised to be. But alas they weren't. While I still support some off their leaders, I am disappointed with the way party exited from Delhi without proverbial warning.

And now when the only ray of hope seemed to be Modi (not talking about BJP here), every secular and non-secular Anti-Modi forces are working full time to discover any dead corpses from his closet. All of a sudden his wife has become more important than his vision and promises for a better India. Very recently a very wise leader of a very wise state said there shouldn't be death penalty for rapes because "boys will be boys. They make mistake". If only he was a stand-up comedian. 

So, please excuse me when I say I have become cynical of Indian politics and don't see it changing anytime soon. National depression compounded by my own personal depression; sometimes it's just too much to take. Sometimes I imagine the nation locked in a room full of utter darkness with no way out. Whoever tries to open that door for others, also gets sucked in (I am sorry you are getting beaten around AK, you don't deserve it). It's frightening.

But I find a small glimmer of light at the far end of the room. A little beam telling that may be, just may be we can find our way out. That name of the beam of light is : Karenjit Kaur Vohra, better known as Sunny Leone, and respectfully called Sunny Bhabhi from here onwards.

Now, I know half of you would be thinking "Meh" after reading the last sentence. Oh, it's another post on porn star. RavS just trying to be witty. But you have to believe me that I am writing this with utter seriousness. It's been 10 minutes of writing this, I am feeling thirsty but I won't get up until I finish this very important write up. 

I know it's hard to imagine how can an NRI pornstar be the leader of India. I have 2 words for that : Sonia Gandhi . She doesn't even have Indian roots but she became the bahu of India's first family and today she is one of most powerful personalities of India, virtually leading current Govt of India (Is what Sanjaya Baru proclaiming really true?). 

 Now, I know you won't be convinced so easily. But think for a little while : 

- In this age of doom and gloom, there isn't a better way to make people happy than mentioning the word "Sunny". Sorry Deol and Gavaskar Paajis but Sunny Bhabhi is the real "Sunny" today. Now think when people get so happy just by hearing this 5 letter word what would happen when they would get to see this 5' 4" figure of flesh and bones everyday damn day. Happier workforce is equivalent to productive workforce. What can be more useful for a dwindling economy like ours?

- If Bhabhi reaches parliament, I can guarantee 1000% increase in the viewership of Lok Sabha TV (I hope she contests elections rather than going the nomination route. More on this in a while.). Whatever be the cause, people will take interest in politics. Which means there will be high pressure on our politicians to deliver with so much limelight on them. Sunny Bhabhi doesn't even have to take part in any debates of the parliament. She can be as non-vocal as our last PM (hard to imagine but still). Her presence itself would have the same effect as Sachin had on Indian Cricket team. I miss you Sachin.

- A few years ago, it was hard to imagine a person indulging in hardcore porn to be the face of mainstream Hindi movies. But here we are with Ragini MMS 2 being considered a 'hit'. This shows the progressive mindset of India. Now, imagine where we can take Indian politics with people like Sunny Bhabhi entering the foray.

- We have had only one lady PM since Independence. And she is also the most memorable one (for good or bad reasons, that's debatable). Just shows the impact a woman can have on a country. It's time that we get another lady to hold the topmost position in Indian governance system. I would also argue that watching her as the PM would also inspire thousands of other women to take up politics. Who needs a 33% reservation bill when you have Sunny Bhabhi to take care of all that?

- No one wants Congress, no one really likes BJP either (forget Modi for a second), AAP's leader is getting slapped around. I would argue that this is the best time for the secular third front to come together and stop the Corrupt and Communal forces to come to power. The problem with third front is that they don't have a common unifying factor, so it keeps dissolving again and again. With a leader like Sunny Bhabhi, they would get the tonic they need to keep up the fight instead of fighting among themselves. 

Now the question arises, why not just an MP? Why PM? I say why not? I mean just look at Sunny Bhabhi - 

- Clean WYSIWYG Image. 
- Secular Credentials.
- Hardworking (no pun here).
- Charming Personality
- Ability to turn crowds on (slight pun here)
- Good orator (I assume, because she is an actress. I am yet to see her in an interview)

What else do you need in your PM? 

Ahh... I can go on and on. But what's the use? It's really unfortunate that even Sunny Bhabhi won't be aware of her political potentials. I hope someone gives her this sane advice. There's still time to file nomination in UP (Why from UP? Well that's a different post altogether).

At this hour, India needs her more than ever. If she decides to contest elections, I would take a sabbatical and would personally campaign for her from wherever she stands. I am pretty sure some of my friends too would join me in this noble cause. I am yet to do community service actively, and what better way to start than this. 

I got up early today. My head hurts now. Let me go listen to watch my Baby Doll.