March 12, 2014

List of 10 Reasons Why I Write in List Format

About 2 months ago, I wrote a post titled "Love will make you Bankrupt".  I usually don't write about "these" kinda stuffs, but I took a gamble. So when I finished it and hit published, I imagined 1000s and 1000s of followers to tell me how much they were moved by my writing. 

Alas, nothing like that happened. Less than a dozen read (I think) and even less -  half of them replied back. Most of the feedback was also not very encouraging. 2 friends equated it to a University exam answer. Someone said,  "your style of writing everything in the form of list sucks. In fact, you suck" . OK, may be those were not the exact words, I forget. 

Anyway, I thought probably they were right, I shouldn't be writing so many list-style articles. And so, I thought I would write non-list style for sometime. It's been 1 month since that thought. From that time I have published exactly 1 post. It was in list format. 

So, screw non-list style posts. I hereby give you 10 reasons why I write list-style (I sense I have written the phrase "list style" too many times by now). :

# Writing lists is how I think : Problems. Solutions. Friends. Potential Enemies. Topics to write next.  Things to do. Toiletries to buy. I make a list of everything. 

# Lists make it easier to present points : Big, long, boring paragraphs make me fall asleep somewhere on the 5th line. Same thing written point wise, I am guaranteed to reach at least point 12th. Even when I write important emails, I cut short the paragraphs into bullets to make sure the other party gets the point. Thankfully that love letter I wrote few years ago wasn't in list format. No, wait. I need to recheck. Holy shit! 

# Lists make me look smart : I am pretty hopeful one day they will start a Nobel Prize (or an Academy Award/Golden Globes/Grammies/Dundies/Whatever) for smartness. That time I want to be the first contender for it. 
"Oh RavS, you are so smart. What's your secret?", they will ask.
Well... I write lists.

# Lists make me think. Hard. : Writing fluff in the form of paragraphs is easy. You put some of your shit on paper and then you pile over it till it looks and smells like bullshit. Writing lists makes it that much harder. We are at point 4 and I am already out of ideas. Why do I write lists. Ughh. 

# I like doing charity : Helping people makes me feel like Superman. By writing lists, I make myself succinct. When you read a list, you have an option to skip a point if you don't like it (for eg. this one). Ergo, I save your precious time. You only have less than 25000 days left on Earth. Guaranteed. You should probably thank me for saving a little part of your life. Say thanks once you complete reading this. 

# Education ruined me : Yeah 2 of my friends, you are correct. That "Love" post does seem like a University exam answer. Remember, when you provided additional data (even though immaterial) and presented them in bullet form you always got better marks? Well I was hoping to get better praises through that post.  

# Well this point is pointless : Just now I looked back at my first 10 posts hoping to prove that I have evolutioned from a paragraph style writer to a list-style writer. But 6 of those first 10 posts turned out to be list based. Some things don't change. See point #1.

# Writing lists is easy, in a way : I thought I would be able to complete this post in a jiffy. Well I was wrong. So I took a short loo break, and came back with another point (not this one dummy, see below). Imagine taking a loo break and coming back with a whole new paragraph. I can't do that .

# Writing lists is an art : I bet not everyone can write it. So, while I can write paragraph based articles (don't you get enough of them in Editorials?), I am glad I have mastered this form.

So, there you go. 10 reasons why I write lists (hoping you won't count). I agree not everything looks great as a list. So going forward, I will try to respect the presentation more often, and give a little variation in the writing. On the other hand you might also find me writing a lot more lists in the coming time. We will figure it out. Thanks!